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Trying to Parent while Parenting Myself: Volcano Bulldozer
You know what sucks? It sucks when I fuck up. When I get overwhelmed and stressed, even with all the strategies I have in my metaphorical toolbox to cope with anxiety, and I reach the crossroad of awareness and maintain the steady bulldozing path of eruption. I say something out of line.Now my daughter feels…
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Desires
I’m only responsible for turning myself on. The idea is not very different than “you can only change yourself”. I can not enforce someone do something for their benefit. I can not desire it enough for them. I can not love them enough, though, if I am willing I can hold space for them to…
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Deliberate Connections
When I relate to others by making a deliberate choice to connect with them, rather than feeling obligated to do so, I make room for a deeply meaningful and intentional relationship. Intentional relationships are passionate, fun, and full of curiosity. They also tend to be more engaging, which oftentimes, leads to a greater sense of…
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Being Responsible. Abstractions.
I’m feeling it – the load of responsibility. I am feeling it tremendously today. I washed the left over dishes from my weekend meal prepping after work. I wasn’t thrilled at the idea yet recognized it would be the mental immunity I needed from a ‘mind full day’. Dishes. It’s meditative. There was a rise…
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Recovering Toxic Parent. Toxic Family
This is not an easy topic to explore. And I am willing to reveal, I come from a toxic family. Because that is true, it is also true I am a toxic person. On one level, I feel devastated about this truth. When I feel into this reality, a deep sensation arises with such vigor…
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Who is my Savior?
If you don’t take care of yourself, why should anyone else? The underlyding dis-ease, for many, is psychological; unconscious and unaware of the moralistic values that plague the mind. We collapse before we can even rise under the pressures of: “Should…”“Don’t…”“No…” and “You’re not enough…”“Stupid…”“You can’t do it right…” Life is magical, there’s no doubt…
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Desires and Wants
I’m rigorously unprobleming my problem. The problem is… I am getting in my own way. The problem is that I don’t always remember what it feels like to get in my own way. I think it’s part of the human condition to forget at-least it’s comforting to say this so I’m not harshly judging myself…
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About this Blog
This is a blog about my journey. A single-mom with a growth mindset. A woman with an expansive imagination about a better world for ourselves and our children. A world in which we honor and affirm our humanity, both our children and ours, and build a reality on interdependency over co-dependency. I’m exploring the nature…
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Trying to Parent While Parenting Myself: Single Mom; How? Memorandum to My Son
Depressed, overwhelmed, angry —there is nothing wrong with these emotions. Life can feel like a tremendous responsibility when our stress meter rises above our capability. Feeling negative or having negative mind speak is not pleasant. As a single mom with two kids with disparate ages – 8 and 21, I am called to look at…
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Trying to Parent While Parenting Myself: Single Mom; A Society of Disguised Obedience
I’m feeling very passionate about parenting right now. The last month of my life, I took an unexpected month long sabbatical to support my 21-year-old son through a difficult time; a process that will require patience, self-control, love, understanding, and empathic guidance. All attributes I’m trying my best to develop for myself and the relationships…