Last summer, I wrote an article called The Secret of Time Travel. I introduced the article with the sham glam of believing there are successful shortcuts in life. I continue on a short reminiscent discourse of a time in my life when I desperately craved secrets to love, sex, adventure, and meaning. A time in my mid-twenties when my paradigm of love and self-acceptance was flawed by the stories that I cultivated in my life. In one way or another, they revealed a lack of worthiness and value. This experience wasn’t just invented for my singular participation. This is the global conscious circumstance; we are born into this training ground, per se, and it is our prerogative to accept the journey. The journey of resolving the conflicts between love, autonomy, and connection; where the reward is finding ‘self’ and the treasure is limitless.
Who are those that dare to take the journey? There’s an inner calling; a specific mark that begins everyone’s journey. The inception of the journey could be significant and momentous; a snowball to avalanche experience. Or it can be a subtle coordinated ripple. It’s within us all to brave the path only a few will choose to seek it. The path can be described as many things and if mine is precedent it’s considerably tumultuous and, at times, intimidating but once the torch is lit there’s no abandoning the journey. I call it my ‘fire’.
I’m going to rewind back to my mid-twenties; this time in my life when searching for nourishment and love was akin to being left-behind after a splendid circus spectacle; alone in the vastness of a canvas previously brimming with ooohs and ahhhhs, gleaming with delight and sometimes fearful eyes of children. Creation crested itself into my life with a vigorous force. Spoken plainly, I was a mother of a beautiful, buoyant 5 yr old son. I had miscarried his sister and brother at different intervals of his life and there remained a clandestine heaviness to build the American Dream. The dream slowly withdrew from an expressway mother-ship to a cobblestone passage thwarted by the losses. The innate biological desire to create expanded and so began the journey in the pursuit of happiness.
There’s so much more to my journey that perhaps one day I will be able to share. The point, now, is to help you. Everyone is called to a journey of discovery. If you find yourself in lament and shame, take the journey, take a massive leap of faith. There’s a light waiting to illuminate you. In order to get started, you must round up your biggest cojones (courage) and jump, jump all the way in and embrace your life newly. Free yourself from the worry of what others will think, free yourself of your own judgments, and light the fire. Do not fear what you desire most. I am a dream walker among dream walkers in this dream we dream together and we are all waiting for each dreamer to shine.