I’m back at home after 9 days in my birthplace. Alongside visiting with family, I was there to visit with my business team. My recent Facebook post describes fragments of this multi-faceted experience of mourning and joy; pain and gratitude. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to continue to acknowledge my experience and reflect on the emotions that continue to arise from energy shared with my family and others.
Here’s what I know:
I want to be experienced as a positive force of inspiration, to build dreams with others, and to be loved and love others without expectations. I am actively working to create growth in myself to experience all of these desires. What does it really mean that I am actively working to create growth in myself? It took a lot of digging up thoughts and feelings to get clarity on this. On the one hand, I recognize that it may not be a definite answer as experience is consistently being redefined as perspective shifts or vice versa. On the other hand, it feels like it is the only possibility there is. What I learned on a new level is that I want to be seen, though, what really begs my attention is not that I am seen by others but that I see more and more of myself.
What does it mean to see more of myself? It means to continue discovering myself by exploring every passion, to expand every potential; to be courageous in all aspects of life. To have a level of focused intensity of love for myself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially. It seems like a bitter pill to swallow when my inner-child wants to evolve overnight. It’s a nagging tug of hopelessness that I allow to push me into depths where I can find the altruist within that simply requests patience. It’s a dance; a chaotic dance picking up the pieces, going over what I know, integrating it, and starting again.
Because I believe the phrase what I know about myself I know about others is a partial truth, I write this today to encourage others to start somewhere. I spoke to someone a few weeks ago and I offered a few suggestions and words of encouragement for their melancholic state of being. The last thing they said was, “I don’t know how much it would cost to pay you.” I am not a life coach and while I promote hiring a life coach or mentor for interpersonal growth, I am a strong advocate of beginning self-awareness by giving acute attention to the people that enter your experience. Everyone reflects a part of our story back to us.
Here are a few questions that can support you in self-awareness through others.
- What do you like about the other person?
- What are the traits that are most attractive to you?
- What traits do you find distasteful?
- How do you feel when you’re around them?
- What do you tell yourself about them?
- What thoughts do you withhold or refuse to disclose to them?
Use your experience(s) to set yourself free. This is called ‘doing the work’. When you answer these questions, what story do you hear; what are you telling yourself? Is there negative self-talk? If there is, do the work; answer the questions and discover the reason behind these thoughts and commit to taking small action steps to change how you feel about yourself.
I have found I have an aversion to the saying, “Fake it until you make it”, however, when I reflect how I have motivated awakening myself, I started with a few strategies and one of them was by externalizing it. What that means is that I projected the reason to change for someone else’s gain rather than my own. And, I guess, that was faking it until I made it; now most of the changes I choose are for myself and yet I still have to use the original method until I’m aligned again. If you feel lack of motivation to change and externalizing it seems like a good course, then do it. I believe you’ll eventually find the path to yourself and if you don’t you can always soundboard with like-minded individuals to keep you on the course to your personal treasure chest: you! The more self-awareness you embody, the more you unravel, the more joy you find in relating openly to yourself and others. It has to start somewhere so turn up the heat, feel the pressure, and give yourself a start. That’s what it’s going to take to see yourself shine.
♥Heart Council Sister