As a child, I imagined what I experienced was normal, after all, ghost stories and supernatural phenomena was a common theme in the culture of Laredo. My very early memory is of having vivid realistic dreams; dreams I can remember as early as 1 years old. At the age of 7, I started hearing voices and feeling pressure changes and an intuitive knowing of spiritual beings. I started to hear my twin sister’s thoughts, though, it took me a while to realize that it was her thoughts and she was not actually speaking to me.
By the time I was 13, I would hear voices in my room consistently. I also saw black auras around individuals. Soon thereafter I numbed much of my experiences with the use of drugs. By 18, I had cleared up the drug activity and began to channel my twin sister’s words and actions in minor ways. By 23, all of this phenomenon became an overwhelming burden. I started to channel my sister longer and more frequently without the ability to shake myself out of it. My dreams were about being other people in different lives, wielding magic and superpowers, visiting other planets and connecting with aliens.
In waking life, I realized telepathy was real and occurred with everyone, not just my twin. Spirits and other dimensional beings taunted me nightly begging for attention that I was too afraid to give. I didn’t know how to cope. Looking for the strategy to cope was the beginning of self-awareness and the realization that my current journey needed to take a new turn. I decided to end an 11-year marriage.
As my marriage was nearing its end, I began taking a deeper look into myself, my thoughts, my desires, my needs. I began a 2-year-study with an empath group that supported my experiences and learning this supernatural realm. I began to meditate 30-45 minutes nightly. It was then I started to experience more and more phenomenon and spirit animals seemed to rush into my awareness. Certainly, they had been present before only my interpretation of them was not as clear and this time around I was able to discern the messages they brought with them.
I’d like to share one of the very first occurrences and the odd synchronicity about it. It starts with a dream of looking across a golden field of grass; feeling peaceful and elated. As I began to run across the field, I realized I was a gorilla. I could see my fists on the ground and my arms thick and hairy. As I began to question the reality of the dream, I woke myself from it. It stuck with me all day. I decided to write the dream in a personal journal the same evening. As I began to write this dream in precise detail, my son rose up from the floor and started to enact the same actions that I was visualizing. He was moving around like a monkey and said,”I’m a gorilla, I’m a gorilla!” with a few gorilla grunts here and there. It didn’t last long. It was very surreal.
Since then, many more spirit animals showed up in different ways and other skills did too. In addition to telepathy, remote viewing, retrocognition, precognition, olfactory precognition became prominent in my awareness. By the time I was 29, I was able to use animals spirits fluently if I felt I needed their support. I had also broken the bond of channeling my twin and learned I could channel other beings.
Between the age of 32 and 36, I had allowed much of my ‘magic’ to fade away. I had lost my hunger to thrive and was simply in the throes of limited experience. Fast forward to 37, having made another pivotal decision to transform my journey and end a relationship that was not mutual, I began integrating more knowledge about accepting my reality. I used to think of these experiences as a burden and now I am honored and grateful that it exists in me the way that it does. My latest initiation to self-acceptance was to honor a few of my spirit animals by tattooing a totem-like symbol on my arm.
The Yellow Horned Viper
The yellow-horned viper represents the beginning or initiation of a transformation. It’s bright yellow color represents the sun; that which provides energy and light for growth. As a sun representative, it also represents life cycles. I particularly enjoy how the viper is at the bottom of the totem pole on my arm; as it also presents itself as a grounding spirit as it buries itself into the the earth. It equally symbolizes the root chakra. It’s coiled at the base if the spine ready to rise and power the ascending chakras. It’s medicine is a reminder to be mindful of sexual energy for healing.
The Red-Tailed Hawk
The red-tailed hawk represents clarity and perspective. In my dream world, I graduated flying. I didn’t automatically jolt up into the air effortlessly. I had to earn it and it started with the struggle of defying gravity barely getting momentum into the air. Eventually, I was able to use my arms to lift me up almost swimming rather than flying through the atmosphere. To power through, I used Superman’s fist-arm combo and later simple thought was all that was needed. I could glide across the dream world while standing. The graduation took years! The next initiation was transformation. Now that I learned how to use thought, the red-tail-hawk granted me the power to transform into itself. It taught me by communicating telepathically and how to utilize its sight and plummet into focal point miles below. In a dream world, I am connected to hawks and use them to remote view or to transform. In this reality, with a hawk’s sight, I expand my perspective and reach clarity.
I wrote a blog about my first experience connecting with the Raccoon – The Mother Raccoon. She is quite elusive. Her messages are a clever riddle or puzzle. She’s not direct which expresses mischief, play, and intelligence. She guides me to be resourceful and independent – as a thinker and a mother.
She also represents nurturing and care. She crystalizes my intent as a loving, guiding mother and teacher. She’s very new—she came in January this year so her role isn’t as detailed as the other two who have been in my life for a while.