I Want and I Can Have

“Hey God, thanks for calling and leaving me all these messages. I simply ignored them because I didn’t want to use the Power of Thinking. I’m not sure what I was afraid of. Possibly, that I could actually make my life so much better. I’m really tired of having to pay my dues so here I am – taking action on all the information you’ve given me. Thanks again and talk to you soon. I’d love that.”

Many of us fall prey to limited thinking. Today, I chose something different.

As I was driving back from Sofia’s school, I had the bright, orange sun in (almost blinding) my eyes. It reminded me how much I used to appreciate my 45-60 minute morning commute northeast. I did it for 5 and 1/2 years. It’s been over 7 years since I’ve had to commute to work. I now work from home. My morning commute was my creative space. I felt centered, empowered, highly spellbound by observing my thoughts, the sensations in my body, the ability to choose how I wanted to spend that time – in wakeful meditation or in appreciation of the world around me (oh, I do notice how that’s very much the same thing!). I used to blog everything that I experienced, everything that I noticed, felt and smelled. To this day I have memory of some of the most profound moments in that space.

This isn’t the first time I’ve come to ruminate the longing for this old routine.

(A little more nostalgia and I’ll get to the point – ya just have to see what I see).

I miss the energy of being; even those funny, impatient – almost disastrous – road rage reaction of others. I would observe others vehicles, the state they were in – clean or dirty. Man or woman driving. What do they identify with? Observing the stickers on their car – watching a story unfold as I imagined someone placing the stickers there. Why? Did someone watch them do it? What were they thinking? What do they have in their car? What are they listening to? What’s going on in their mind? What can I learn from them in this very brief moment of shared time? These moments were full of wanderlust – probably the best kind!

So, today, I thought of something I said to myself – something I observe many people, including myself, struggle with – I said, “I want and I can have.” Can you have what you want? Can I have what I want? Do you know what you want?

In this situation, what do I want? I want to experience everything that I did when I was in a long commute to work. What did I do? I didn’t allow myself to experience it the same. Could I? Yes. Did I? No. Why? It’s a 15 minute drive not 45-60 minutes.

When I drive Sofia to school, I’m usually very present with her. We listen to a playlist of our favorite songs (usually on repeat) and  I’m often moving my body – dancing – singing and interacting with her. That is the ‘right’ thing to do at that moment. On my return 15 minutes, yes, I explore the solitude in the same manner as before BUT I would sometimes lament about having to get back home, about having to end the journey, and I would lose much of my creative spark – or that’s what I told myself.

A creative spark isn’t lost. It’s always there. It needs nourishment, massaging, love, and care or a light shining on the darkest recesses of the cob web ridden attic-room of limited thinking. Sometimes it even needs sleep. Perception is a door always opening and closing.  The way to open the door is to do you. Trust and know that in doing you, the door will open, you will see what’s inside and you will create something rich and wonderful. 

Today I observed. I have stories to tell about what I observed on my drive home, yes. I feel optimistic and renewed from this simple awareness. I even observed what happened yesterday on my drive home. I can remember almost everything as I drove the same path – like two realities merging and imparting different data.

Well, I’m unsure that I drove the point about limited thinking as I intended but my time is up. It’s time to get to the daily grind – the one that, for the moment, brings my income.

What are ways that you have possibly limited your actions by the way of thought? What are ways you can change it?  Please share. I’d love to hear it. I’ll pick up the call, I promise!

Sometimes we have what we want but we strive to experience or see it in our life in a different way, thus, eliminating the gratitude of what we do have present in our experience. Don’t cut your creations short! Do you see where you can apply this in your life? Where’s the itch? Where’s the burn? Find it. Cure it with awareness ….and gratitude. 

One comment

  1. Hmmm!!! If you saw me on the road, you wouldnt have the chance to imagine MY story!! Zzzzoooooommmm!!!!
    But thenn…. As i navigate swiftly past everyone who “thinks” they share a road with me…. I also lose the chance to reflect during all those necessary and unavoidable driving hours…. Maybe i should drive slower……


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